Latest Tweets:
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Me: “Just letting you know, my mom just submitted the application.”
Chef Luis: “Can you please tell your mom to go to sleep, it’s too late for her to be up.”
Me: “She said to tell you that you don’t know her life.”
Chef Luis: “She needs to stop twerking!! She’s too old for that!!!”
Me: “I nearly spit out my water reading that thanks”
(Source: tastefullyoffensive, via kiwwut)
(Source: imanoreocomeeatme, via heyfunniest)
(Source: misslucyandherleeches, via neekulit)
(Source: epic-humor)
I thought this was going to be educational…. it was
(Source: humoristics, via albertcamoo)
do you guys remember that one post about how men feel entitled to take up so much space and women have to deal with a lot less?
This is actually a documented thing. You always see men on the subway or tube or whatever using both armrests while women sit with their arms hunched together into their laps. That’s why I always make a point to take up at least one if not both armrests of the tube so men can be uncomfortable for once.
^ again, for all the people telling me posting this picture is complaining too much.
In my college classes (and high school too) guys were always stretching, sticking fists and elbows in my face, leaning their heads back over my desk, over my work, spreading their legs out, kicking my bag with their dirty shoes. And let’s not pretend they were in other guys’ space as much as they were in women’s.
It’s so true, this happens to me every day on the train. Same with the walking thing, women will weave out of the way whereas men just walk straight and plow down anything in their path. I always end up playing chicken with men on the sidewalk now, because I refuse to move out of their way.
I love playing chicken with dudes who hog the sidewalk. BODY CHECK! Fucking assholes.
“NOT ALL MEN ARE LIKE THIS!” FUCK OFF.
“AS A MAN, I THINK THAT…” FUCK OFF.
Men always have the same defensive bullshit to spout every time they get called out on their shit. AND IT IS BORING. They remind me of those toys where you pull a string an they have like 5 phrases they can say. Over and over and over.
same here with playing chicken, its hilarious sometimes because they get this flash of realization in their eyes that says ‘holy shit, she’s NOT going to move/??? what do????’ because THEY ARE SO USED TO EVERYONE MOVING FOR THEM
when i was younger my grandpa drew this on a piece of paper,
and he asked me how i, as the red circle, would get around the two people (black circles) if i was walking down the street.
so of course i came back with
moving out of the way for them as i walked.
he asked me if i thought men would do the same and, at the time, i did because i thought it was just common courtesy. but he told me that men would barrel straight through without giving a shit and that i should do the exact same. because i was the one walking and they were the ones in the way. so that’s exactly what i do.
Seriously, this happens so fucking often, like do people not have a concept with personal space?? (I have this problem a lot more with guys than girls.)
Usually I end up conscientiously taking up more space than they expect me to, and it’s the guys who get uncomfortable that my leg is pressing into theirs, so hah. Learn some fucking personal space kthx.
fuck i notice this whenever im on a train too
sometimes theres a spare seat between two dudes but no fucking one can sit there because their fucking asses are blocking that seat
that’s some seriously good advice from a very wise man up there
even if you plow through the guys, they act like entitled assholes. i remember one time i was walking down the sidewalk on campus and a group of basketball players were coming from the opposite direction. I moved over to one side, but refused to step off the sidewalk because LOL I’m fucking walking here!!! they apparently didn’t like that i didn’t make way for their entitled asses and started shouting at me and throwing stuff at me as i walked away. (i wasn’t hit, so i guess they aren’t that good at the sport)
but seriously, if any dude tries to give you the ‘but i need room for my junk!!’ bit, tell them that’s bullshit. a lot of guys can wear compression shorts or fit into those skinny jeans and GUESS WHAT, balls can move to accommodate and prevent squishing. and i assure you, unless the guy has a massive erection, he should be FINE putting his legs together. even then, make him do it anyways, no man should have the right to invade your space
Okay never thought about this at all but it does really happen a lot - though I haven’t noticed a specific gender because I really avoid awkward moments with strangers like the plague and will adjust my walking and metro rides accordingly as to make sure they never occur. But when I’m sitting next to someone in class guys do have a tendency to lounge around and someone always ends up putting their foot in my space which always freaks me out to the point that I will dwell on it for the entirety of the course, as I only feel comfortable in desks with crossed legs so as to accidentally hitting anyone I also wrap my ankle around the other leg which increases the risk of my ankle unexpectedly coming loose and me kicking whoever left their foot in my space to begin with and that possibility drives me insane the whole time.
This was a horrible contribution to this post but I just felt like aimlessly ranting
THANK YOU. this has been something on my mind whenever i’m commuting on the bus/subway.
(via albertcamoo)
Moon…
Mercury…
Venus…
Mars…
Jupiter…
Saturn…
Uranus…
Neptune…
Pluto can suck a dick
This is so interesting. Jupiter and Saturn look fucking scary
I am more interested in the OP’s hostility toward Pluto
(via albertcamoo)
(via apertorture)
Chef Haris: “Stewards! Where’s my queen*?”
Abe’s flamboyant voice across the room: “Over here chef! ;D” *flails arm in air*
*this is an actual queen:

*Chef pokes head out door and sees Cisco slacking off and talking*
Chef Luis: “CISCO, go prep in the office!”
Cisco: “Aww yeah! Ya hear that? I got a fucking promotion!”